How to remove atiger from your kitchen

Step one:
Before you can get rid of the tiger you have to know what its motive is for coming into your kitchen in the first place. Maybe you were cooking dinner and that lured the tiger in or you had just stepped out for a minute leaving some meat to thaw on the sink but one of the most common reason is live pray tigers cant resist live pray to them a child is a tender, juicy, succulent, mouth watering piece of antelope or deer. My mouth is watering as we speak.

Step two:
You now know what its motive is, but you are thinking how to get rid of it? Well it’s as simple as this find something the tiger wants more than what it has write at that moment. Maybe you can lure it out by tying your child to piece of string and dangling them of the roof. But since not many parents go for this option or the child is inside with the tiger we had to think of a different more complex way.

Step three:
Ok so now you are being difficult making me think of a different way to get this tiger out with out having to call child services. So the harder way is to scar the tiger out you have to be very careful when planning this because if the tiger even gets a whiff of what you are up to it wont work and you will have to move house. The one thing a tiger is scared of is garlic. Because they are descendants from the vampire species. People will say that vampires are extinct so don’t pay any attention because they most certainly are not tigers are vampires that have evolved.

Step four:
Strategically place garlic around the outside of your house making sure the tiger has no idea what is going on then splash some holy water on the tiger and say this over and over till the tigers vanishes in a puff of smoke. ‘vá o tigre vai-se nós dont querem-no shew shew puf! puf! vão awy.

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